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Thursday, August 31, 2006

last thing i have to do is find a job

I'm having an affair with the word 'beautiful' these days, it's just catching my eye, and it seems like the turns of phrase with that word catch my ear more often. I told rabah this, but i think i would much rather be called beautiful than any other thing... because beauty stretches all the way to the inner secrets of the soul.

Monday, August 28, 2006

middle english

you know that old cliche of the guy reading a girl poetry and she falls in love with this so called sensitive guy because it's impossible to find a guy who reads keats or whoever?

well...if any guy is willing to read me chaucer in lilted middle english.. i might just fall into that cliche and swoon... my (female) teacher was reading the first 16 lines of the canterbury tales to us today... and well... it was splat.

I miss colorado skies. if you're still there. look up at sunset (and sunrise if you're up early enough) and just absorb the reds, pinks, oranges, fuzzy greens and blues that roll together. you don't get that everywhere... and it's breathtaking.

my friend Charlie is coming up from Nipomo before he goes off to le Hahvard- i'm excited.. yet another person i haven't seen in over a year- speaking of which.. i saw yan today at crossroads (the dc) he grew facial hair... yan is a friend of a friend from harvard... so i guess i'm seeing more harvard people that i thought i would. but I really want to meet up with krisitne again. from that group

you know how people get an image of you? i don't know if my image here is the same as my image at home.

people here don't nosegoes.

I was walking down the street, and a bum who was walking by said "smile, it's a beautiful day" and you can't say no to that.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

week one ish?

I was reading through some of my old stuff.. and though I'm pretty sure i've posted this before... i thought it was fitting:

Beginnings are creatures of change. We don't always welcome Beginnings, but they are born in front of closed eyes. By the time we accept them, the Beginnings have moved on, on cat like feet to leave us to their offspring; we feel the same, yet uncomfortably different. Beginnings are dashing, because of the uncertainty that they arrive with, arm in arm; whereas, Middles are boorish and Endings are wretchedly nostalgic. Only when we are able to let go of the past and leave it as the past, instead of the now, new Beginnings can be acknowledged.

recently i've been whiny and complainy about how I don't feel like anything's changing... but hey.. maybe the me of two years ago was right.

I learned how to chacha, salsa, and east coast swing yesterday- it's nice having a dance partner who knows what he's doing.. it was pretty sweet.. and I now have a group of ultimate frisbee-ers which is awesome. Funny how i really dont' know anyone on my floor and instead i hang out with people who live waaaaaaay on the other side of campus. This is how it always works for me.. i find good guy friends first... and i have to look hard for good girlfriends. I can live with my roommate... though she's nothing compared with Kristine- and she tries too hard to be cutsey and is pretty high maintenance... but she's alright.

I miss having people around that already understand me and with whom I already have a relationship established. it makes things a lot easier.

I need to start waking up earlier... and actually not waste time. maybe that means going to sleep earlier

Saturday, August 19, 2006

14 hours and counting

I think i'm getting closer to closure today... this last day. once my room looks (near) spotless I think it'll have that going away feeling. I should start on that.

I feel bad for spending not enough time around my parents... but spending time with them means spending time around them. I probably should have gone golfing with me dad.. and done something with my mom... but it seems... like when they want me around we do our own things... I don't know.

I guess I have to let my friends go... I've been on the receiving end of "my friend_______ would have..." or "one time me and my friend ____ did..." and on the giving end for that matter, but i gues i just have to be about making new memories instead of reliving old ones... something I've never been good at.

my mom thinks I have to be out of the house by 5:30 for a 8:30 flight... I say psh... at least thirty more minutes of sleep.

I can't find my 'end is here' album.. and it makes me sad.. otherwise most of my music is on my computer...

anyone want REM albums? my cousin gave me most if not all of REM's discography frm off of his computer... I should have upgraded my harddrive.

Monday, August 14, 2006

"She said, 'I like long walks and sci fi movies'"

I made my first bottle of Kimchi today. That was pretty cool. My mommy taught me. I think if I were just a little less academically inclined, i would go to culinary school and become an amazing chef... yeah doggy. If you like the smell of hamburgers or steak on the grill.. well.. it's nothing compared to the smell of some good korean barbeque on the grill.. seriously. I've scoped out the korean food on campus.. so a little homesickness will take me to those restaurants.

Otherwise, I need to decide what's going and what's staying... should I take Floppy (my loved and dirty stuffed animal)? should I take the big or the small box of crayons (Ian says big) ? what shoudl I decorate my room with? that is a lot harder when you're not allowed to drill holes in the walls...I realise 2 of the 3 questions I just asked make me seem childish and as joe would say in line that whole neverneverland peter pan thing- which I find no problem with embracing my childhood.

My shoulder really hurts.. I hope it's nothing serious and the pain (and thus problem) goes away within a couple of days.

I should have gotten a bigger harddrive for my laptop... I didn't realise how much music I had.

This weekend was pretty awesome. I went to a day-long picnic with my church... and played a bit of volleyball... football... got hit in the hip with a ball as I daydreamed...then I went to a fashion show at the Fabric Lab.. it was straight up on the sidewalk on colfax.. pretty awesome.. the clothes were cool, the atmosphere was better. then on sunday.. I went to church and then Winnie's, Foote's then Kathleen's it was pretty awesome.. I went sailing for the first time.

No one writes on their blogs anymore... it kinda makes me sad.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

wierded out

I just found a picture of Lane Smith on facebook... basically he was my preschool love interest.. we would make tunnels in the sand together. craaazy


I feel a lot more lethargic now that i'm home from korea... like lying on my floor and counting the little nubbly carpet clumps is a good use of my time. I haven't writtenanything since last may, I haven't read anything new since I finished that Vonnegut book. I'm just wasting my 'talents' and sleeping or kinda eating (my stomach's shrunk too) and i'm too lazy to do anything about it.

enough of the emo posting though. I met up with Rusty and Max (friends from le harvard) last Saturday... It was pretty cool except for the abortion discussion that somehow came up. i hate going into these things because people aren't going to change their minds about them. but it was nice because i haven't seen them in over a year and i hadn't really talked to max in any form until that point.

i hope i can find a job at le berkeley, and i hope I can amass some money to go either to chicago or out to boston/newyork for spring break.

i leave in less than 2 weeks.