I'm not going to say i'm stopping

I think i'm taking a blog break.... well.. i'll only post here if I really really feel a need to. or a giant desire to.

it's back to moleskines for me. i don't think i have anything worth saying in this format anymore.. it just turns out whiny or something. not soemthing i'm proud of.. or want people to see.

life is good.

time for some John Milton and Satan

music reminds me of everyone

other than a couple of songs, Jimmy eat world reminds me of no one. it doesn't remind me of good times, bad times, people, just... myself. everything else.. or at least most everything else is associated with someone or sometime: five iron Frenzy, Streetlight Manifesto, Jeff Buckley, The Decembrists, Tri Sestry, Simon and Garfunkel, just to name a few... and well.. sometimes you just want music.. and not memories. because memories'll make you miss the past or people who aren't there.

home was.... it was home. good and frustrating at the same time. I said before i wasn't sure if home would feel like home anymore, well.. it made itself feel like home (forced its way back into the 'home crevice' in my mind label box)... nowhere else could give me this feeling.

i don't think that metaphor made any sense.

let me just say home is a flurry of emotion and thought.

this place itself though, is something else. the air is crisper. the sun is brighter, the mountains are rockier and snowier...

it a little bit disconcerting when horoscopes say exactly what you're thinking.

worrying gets us no where.

neither does whining

"I had to think a while"

I was wondering whether to do this as i did it a couple of years back.. with a list of everything and anything... or do it like last year and just put up twenty things... I guess it comes as it comes... and if it turns out to be hundreds or simply a couple... then... well.. it is what it is. I'm thankful for a lot of things. My life's really blessed- sometimes i lose sight of that.. but it's always nice to remember.

Things I'm Thankful For (in no particular order than what i thought of them in):

1. Rabah- for Being there. Being herself. and Being Godawfully honest
2. Being at Berkeley- i was telling Kaile I'd like to live in memories.. but since i can't.. Berkeley's the best place for me- because i had to move on sometime.
3. Hah- at the moment, high metabolism, from looking at the crap food i have on my desk, it's the only thing keeping me thin
4. God- for jumping up and down when it feels like i'm about to forget about him
5. My sisters who seem immutable even as they change
6. My Parents who ingrained 'be unique' in my head as a kid
7. Eric- for putting up with (and enjoying) my throwing books at him to read, because i like to share.
8. Ian- for calling me and telling me awkward and amazing things
9. Kristine- for making me feel like i can say anything and everything- when i can catch her without playingn ridiculous games of phone tag

as always it's a list of people. but so it goes.

happy thanksgiving all... i'll see you at T2

hahahaha...

i'm selling my body for money.

betcha never expected that from me.

I wonder about Ady's Masters thesis

He was telling us last year about how he was thinking about doing something on the use of unique figurative language, or writing style in translated literature. I'm beginning to wonder more and more about that. Today i was helping this girl who writes like Sandra does. I wonder what culture has to do with that.. or whther they're just kindred souls. They were writing memoir like essays, or stories... this is the kind of thing i wanted to do- edit and help kids with wriitng and get them to love it love it- i shoudl have applied for that creative writing class next semester.. i guess i'll have to do it in the fall. :\

i said i was going to clean today. i think i still will.

short post i guess.

There was a Troubador in the BART station that reminded me of Kris Becker

I had in n out the other day. it seems like whenever i want my camera i never have it and when i do carry it around, I never need it. (or it's run out of batteries when i do need it)

I can see a point where ballroom will take over my life. it's way too much fun. really really. quickstep will be awesome if i get that good. it's like... BOUNCE ACROSS THE FLOOR!!! and samba is like shake It SHAKE it. :).

I heard a really cute story yesterday.. it made my eyes go all squinty as i heard it. sometimes when my smile is really big, i can't seee very well. ah well.

TEN days till i'm home (i have a thing with caps today.) i should be read read reading right now. but a list of things i want to do even if there's no time over my short weekened.

0. CHIPOTLE (the old one)
1. Starbucks
2. T2-3
3. See Joyce and Kaitlin (who are mentioned becasue they aren't associated with the people i would usually see)
4. see everyone else
5. hang out with the family
6. church kids
7. eat home cooked meals


there's more i swear that i'm forgetting.

a list of thanks is coming soon to a blog near you.

I haven't listened to Finch in a while

now's the time where i can take a breath before i plunge into Milton. usually, i judge my time by my science classes, and how soon until the next test, and English i can push to the back of my brain, or at least that's how it used to be. now.. well.. i don't have science anymore. Chem didn't fit- as much as I know I don't want science to be my life (vocationally) i still enjoy it and want that well rounded schedule- it's easy to take a humanities class- why do science classes have to take up so much awkward time?

I feel sick to my stomach. i should eat better.. and on a more regular schedule- i'm saying this as I shove pocky into my mouth.

isn't it wierd when your professors start talking about things that are compeltely and utterly relevant to your life at that moment? It freaks me out. but it was happening for a while.

16 days until i'm back in Denver, though I won't know if it's Home until i get there. I hope i haven't acclimated to lower altitudes. (wow only 16. there's so much to do in that time)

I think i'm going to finish Hapsworth 16 1924 now. I'm in a Salinger mood.

I hate critiquing myself- or watching myself doing things. it gives me deep embarassment.

"keep your pinky down."

"love, love, love"

"it's blue and smells like cat, must be sodium chloride"