effing spam comments

So right now.. I have a humongous urge to listen to Killing Me Softly... the Fugees version.. and I have the cd.. but it's super dee duper scratched.. (as the aftermath of a rockin party my sister had) good thing I have no qualms against DL.

I guess its just another way I can waste time. I seem to never start work before eight.. and I think that's why I dont' ever get sleep.

I dont' know what I'm going to do when Janet goes back to college.. I won't have anyone to bug when I want to stop working.

People in Colorado need to start enjoying dancing. I'm sick of going to dances and feeling stupid being hte only one dancing in a group of kids who just stand there all dressed up.. what's the point of big skirts if you can't twirl?

Songs for a girly mixed tape I should make at some time:
1. The Only Living Boy in New York- Simon and Garf.
2. Incomplete- Backstreet Boys
3. Like a Prayer- Madonna
4. Killing Me Softly- The Fugees
5. Freshmen- Mustard Plug
6. Don't Speak- No Doubt
7. Let Go- Frou Frou
8. Climbing the Walls- Backstreet Boys
9. Lose Control- Missy Elliot
10. All My Life -KCi and Jo Jo
11. Can you feel the Love Tonight- Elton John
12. Breakdown- Jack Johnson
13. Since You've Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson

There's probably more I'm not thinking of.. but.. for now.

Extended Essays suck

Basically I'm awesome at procrastinating and getting everything done at the same time. Its been an interesting weekend. Policies on boys are tricky. I really wish I knew what my cell phone plan was so I could not have to pay for unheard of minutes. I switched topics. I need to finish other homework. I want new music. I need a vacation. I don't know what this business is about. Home? where's that? Where the hell is God in my life? that's my fault. I talked to Kevin for the first time in years. Old friends... and strangers. its wierd. I love swings. they're panaceas. I don't know why i'm writing this. I don't know if I like my classes this year. Not enough engrish. too much science and math. I have good teachers for the most part though. School's been goign on forever. Kristine's birfday is coming up. I want to go up to red rocks and look at stars. forever.

I dont' know man, I don't know.

Weeks

I've been at school for three days. I feel like I've been here forever. Its funny to think i've only been home for less than a week. It's funny not to be insync with Kristine- and instead we have separate lives that don't coincide at all. Its funny how long and short a week can be all at the same time.

It's too long to be gone. Its too short to finish my EE. I don't even know. I say that A lot. I don't know. I'm confused. hopefully i'll be unconfused at some point.

This year's going to be interesting. I don't remember my reasons for not wanting to apply to harvard.

and that reminds me, why the hell are kids in my grade so on top of things? you're already filling out applications? what? I don't even know where I want to go. take a breather.. sheesh.

"Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up..."

Summer.
Its interesting to hear everyone's different views on what that word means. A vacation, A lifetime, An experience, A simple passage of time.

For me, I guess it was like any other time of the year. A little more sun, a little more change, A little more relaxation... but overall... another piece of my life that's gone by.

I'll start off saying I missed everyone here in Aurora. I feel like the kids I talked to.. even if just through blog comments, i'll keep in touch with through college and if we talked on the phone (which i still hate) then even better. I hope you thought of me as much as I thought of you.

The summer started off interestingly with my first alcohol party at Jizraeliv's graduation party; its the first time I've seen that many drunk people (though I didn't participate) and moved on to europe. and experience in itself.

Europe was.. interesting, with crazy drugged chaperones, to the beads that define my wardrobe and my personality, to the watch that does the same. I have to say up til now.. I've never worn a watch. I came back with a craving for crepes, and an interest in learning how to say 'I love you' in as many languages possible... right now I'm to 11.

Harvard. Straus House. Dance Parties. Matresses in one room. Middle School Truth or Dare. Don't touch the toe.. don't touch the toe. Sardines in the stacks. late night science center runs. Annenberg. Noir. Fiction. Complaining about no Chipotle. New York. Getting chipotle. meeting straus B. Tee shirts. The Healthies. condom balloons. Dressing up. Brown. Yale. curfewless. crayons. Love Shack. The Garage. Backstreet Boys. Au Bon Pain. Rocky Horror.
in a couple word sentences that was my experience.

I've come back thinking that everything would still be the same. so many people are gone. more than other people changing, I've changed. I can't go back. I dont' want to go back. I don't know where my home is anymore.

"And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place."

i think he got it right.

I don't know if i'm ready for school.. i guess its coming whether I want it to or not. It saddens me to know i wont' be seeing most of those kids I've lived with ever again.

To Those who've changed my life (for the better) this summer- whether actively or passively through phone calls, pensive moments and memories- Kristine, Misha, Kaile Joe, Lauren, Molly, Conor, Alex, Andy, Charlie, Neehar, Max, Rusty, Raye, Shonna, Lauren, Helen, Hannah, Heita, Hollen, Sebas, Abbey, Tiffany, Caitlyn, Joe, Vick, Dan, Ellie, Long, Vince, Tal.
We've spread across the US, maybe even the world.. some of you haven't moved at all...Lord how I'll miss you- I can only hold onto what we had in the past and remember that it's the past.

I dont' know about the best summer of my life, but it's a unique one. and that's all that matters.

Old rivalries

today. I had the experience of watching old men dance like they're 20 again. They are pretty good at it.

I only regret i didn't see the original Backstreet tour. I've been to millenium (with Jana) Black and Blue (with Kaitlin) and now Never Gone (with Andy, Hannah, Reefer, and chelsea)

I have to say nick carter looks worse... but sounds better.
AJ is balding... but he still has skills in the vocals.
They had a screen where you could "send texts to the Backstreet boys!" and one of the said "I love Brain!" we took a picture.

I was surprised that I remembered as many lyrics as I did. maybe they never go away.

Concerts are better in rain.

This almost makes up for Finch cancelling.

Backstreet boys are SOOOO much better than Nsync.

Following the trends

So many people have been posting about school.

I dont' know what to think about going back to school in 13 days. Technically, I'm at school right now, but its so different. Yes there were annoying high school kids in my classes. yes They dragged us down. but we were treated like we knew something. I hate it when teachers talk down at us. It's also going to be wierd being the oldest ones. to hell with that.

It'll be wierd staying around 8 hours in school, when otherwise I would come back to the room and nap for long ungodly hours. Alone in a house with my parents. no running up to the orgy room, Around to B, or just starting up conversations with Kristine- distracting us both from doing work. Not having housemates is going to be super wierd. I'm used to being a second away from social stimulation. home's going to be wierd with parental rules, curfews, and worries about when I go to sleep at night.

I have not started Hamlet, my extended essay or my history IA. Neither have I practiced my horn as much as I should have, studied bio, nor done work for Key Club.

an actual summer recap post will happen by the sunday before high school starts. A lot can happen in a week and a half. A hell of a lot can happen.

Music Video Sluts

I get to be in the Healthies music video! sexy fine! they have an ill first single, Urinal Cake (one hit wonder? no way!)

I'm their number one groupie.

Go to http://www.purevolume.com/thehealthies to see some mad rhyming skills... A sick music video is coming up soon...

November 22, 2003 all over again.

so this band... This band that I actually pay money to buy cds for. This band that I never get sick of. This band that can fit any mood I can be in... was going to come to Boston for a free show. Too good to be true right? I was psyched... it was going to be my reward for finishing my story by... today.
effing canceled.
Its a wednesday night when they go to the Ogden. Eff. I'm missing Finch again.