I'm woozy.

I thought i had slept for something like 14 hours today.. but really it's only like 9... so actually it isn't that bad. my eyes are pulsating though... i dont' think that's good. I have to.. urgghhh... escribir en espanol. poo... pooo... poo..

I should still be squishing.

I worry too much.


is it bad if I take another nap?

I felt v. non indian yesterday- and I have the doot da doot da doot da doot da of bhangra beats in my head.

I want breadsticks.

I'm squishing down into midterms

so in my usual procrastinatory post, I have a linguistics midterm tomorrow, spanish homework due tomorrow, a bio midterm review sheet due tomorrow (for extra credit i'll probably need) a bio midterm on friday, an English paper due on the 1st, my English GSI isn't emailing me back about meeting with me becuase he didn't have office horus this week, and well... we have another spanish paper to start working on. OOFTA.

I've been listening to a lot of music though. I don't knwo if my Ipod on shuffle jsut likes Five Iron Frenzy, or if it's jsut the fact that I have so much Five Iron Frenzy on my Ipod that it comes up as often as it should based on ratio. People look at me funny when I bob my head to my music. It's just that they can't hear it :) but that's okay, I'm used to being looked at funny.


Things I want to do but have no time (or money) to do: blues dancing. Infinite Jest. sleep. sf. more specifically city lights. transmet. discover food places.

Shakira is waayyy too hot. I want to be able to move my body like Shakira. she's mesmerizing.

okay working. working. working.

We did a lot back then. what are we doing now?

A lot of my friends are together right now in New York. Lauren, Yang, Anandi, Rohini, - I kind of really wish I were with them.

It's so different here. at home, there are too many people I want to see, and not enough time to have one on one time with them, but here... I think I have friends of circumstance. or we're in that awkward stage just before being able to call people up randomly, or hang out randomly.

I suppose I need some alone time too.

I think Sam may be leaving. according to Mike, I get to have dinner with him on the 27th. we'll see. I should try to see Mike sometime- maybe go up to Sac with Rubal one time.

Want everything to flow. and not have to try. or be worried, or anything. I think I'm always worrying, or always thinking, or always tense. I dont' think I'm as bad as some people, but I still need to learn how to let go.

I want to be around people I would truly miss if they were to leave. I want to see Charlie, Kristine and Rusty again. It was funny how Harvard worked out. how we can pick up the same, we don't really have to know about everything in each others' lives because well... our friendship isn't based off of telling events in our lives, what happened everyday, rather there's soemthing more than that. It's the same with Rabah. but it's hard to get there. you know?

I always sound unhappy in my blog. but I'm happy. I live well, I'm learning right? sorry for complaining so much at you, but well... I suppose that what it is to be american- never any satisfaction.

"I tried to convince you not to go home"

I like how this song (looking back on today) only reminds me of joyce- despite how sappy it is, I don't relate any of these overtly cheesy lyrics to any of the male gender.

I miss joyce- she's an explorer.. much moreso than me. it'd be nice to have her here and we could go exploring together. I don't get to see her much.

No more electrical taped flip flops for meee... i can no longer feel the ground through the heel of my shoes... i'm happy. Old navy changed their flip flops.. i cant decide whether it's for thebetter or not.

I'm listening to oldies but goodies...song I would listen to through high school and middle school. damn... so many good memories. Tom Petty reminds me of summer - well american girl does. and Matt singing really drunkenly at danika's house. .. it might have been Rob's... i think it was Danika's.

I periodically miss the people I never would call up to talk to- like Lani, or Kris Becker- I used to drive Lani home after Key club- and we'd have good times int he car- or good conversation in the car, but we never made an effort to hang out outside of it. and Kris- so random. and good so good at music. I miss seeing that look on his face when he relaly gets going... he was soulfull.

I like Nick Drake's voice. if you look at him, he doesn't look like his voice would be this clear and mellow- he looks like a screechy off key emo kid.

It's time to stop meandering this semester and really work. hehhhhh

The Cure reminds me of Joe

I'm procrastinating again. reading to do. but not interesting reading to me. I don't know. THings'll get better outside of 45b i hope. i really hope. i like how in this font the numbers get lowered a little bit. I always liked that about old books, the numbers are all skewy.

If you couldn't tell from my last post, i'm relaly excited about harry potter coming out... reallly really... but if i stay here over the summer, then I'm going to have to get the book from here aren't I? hrmm..... ack.. and I'll have the opposite delemma- i'll get it four hours later than the people on the east coast. pooooo. oh well.

so yeah. I'm probably going to end up staying here over the summer and working here in SF. minimum wage is higher.. and i'll probably have to pay rent on my apartment for sumemr anyway so there's no point in paying for an empty apartment right? and i'll get spanish 4 out of the way- so if I want to graduate in three years I can with a Minor in Spanish. I shoudl really plann this out better.

yes. Life planning. that's what I need to do. more like guidelines than actual rules becuase there are of course things that I can't control like whether or not I get hired or what. but at some point, iternational school somewhere preferrably someplace like argentina or something- i should take some history of L. America classes. hrmm.. Spain woudln't be too bad either... or Africaaaa.... but i knwo my parents will say "it's dangerous don't go there" hrm... but Mossadeq didn't get started in his revolutionary ideas until his father in law (the higher priest) had passed away... so maybe i shoudl do that when no one is worrying abotu me anymore.

I talked to my Spanish GSI for a good while yesterday.. it was fun. he told me of a good taqueria on mission and some good bakeries around there... i think it's time to explore SF soon.

the job thing is turning out to be a dud. really. I NEED a job. damn workstudy and such... pooooppp..

I'm using modpodge to fix my earrings tha are breaking.. hahh.. creative.. i only hope that it sticks. seems to be working fine. i don't know.. i think i'm slightly allergic to nickel or whatever they use in cheap earrings, or pewter.. so if i leave them in for a long time, my earses kind of ache a little.. but if i put my white gold ones back int they're okay.. hrmmm... yeah.. doesn't stop me from buying earrings..

I've been in a shopping mood lately... i need shoes.. i really really need shoes all of mine are falling apart. but i have no money. jsut a gift card to macys... hrmmm.. :D that'll be part of my excursion to SF

I want to learn how to lift my left eyebrow.. i used to pride myself on being able to move my face symmetrically. yesh. symmetrically.

I'm in the mood for vulgar kerouac style (though i'm never read kerouac) books.. about drugs and tennis.. and guns and mexico. not about girls moving to vancouver. funny- i enjoy reading books whos protagonists are male but i write about female heroes. hrmmm.... maybe i'm jsut made out to not like my own writing. hahh.. I think by the end of the summer i'll send something to McSweeneys.. and possibly oter magazines.. but that means a stronger discipline from me. more output. (whichh also means more input)

So by sunday i'm going to have a plan. a backbone of a plan. sorry rabah for usinghte owrd PLAN so much. guidelines. not stoney

38 days.

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS ON JULY 21st!

yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!