Oh....

There's something that makes me smile about listening to old pop punk- like the Starting line's cover of JLo's I'm real.. or old NFG. it's like chick flicks.. they're just feel good songs... and according to some, simply 'bad ' music.. but... earlier pop punk makes me happy.

it's becoming real like the tome (or t-ohm) of cracking some ap action sititng in front of me. I suck at teh physics. really. really.

I had fun bowling on friday... I actually got up in the 80's .. wow. jessica's getting better. my bowl form is perfect.. better than anyone's you know.

I'm dipping my toe into tomorrow.. and I can't say I like it. May is going to be dreadful... and my pores are planning a revolt and festering. that sounds so disgusting.

apparantly yearbooks 'come out' on friday. which means they're planning on ripping us off for another dollar. Funny. hopefully it's good.. i think i'm in quite a few pictures- all taken courtesy of tyler gurerro. really. that kid is liek the yearbook person. I don't know why i'm talking about this.. but that just means we're close. and I'm dreading it and ready to jump f orward anyway.

I really suck at returning things on time... especially to libraries.

My heart feels heavy.. and I don't know why... it's not in like a cholesterol sense.. but more of a life universe and everythign type of way.

I love books.. but at the same time I hate reading good ones. like puliter prize winning books. it's very bittersweet. I'm being hard on myself. and really.. I feel like a dogfish is chasing me.

Lit magazine is at the press right now. I'm exciited. my piece is first. which hopefully give a good impression for the magazine over all. We've got it all. Lei wrote a piece based on a chinese proverb, Young gave us an excert from his book, Rabah gives us a scene of amazingness. Sara- dialogue, Rose- bloody daydreams, Me-change, there's more stuff, and the art throughout is generally amazing. hopefully that'll come out this week.

Time to cracker down.

Edit: apparantly L&S college at Berk doesn't take AP credit after you've been accepted. so I dont' even know why i'm trying at all.. ugh.

"Tell all my friends I'm dead...
it won't belong before you forget my name..."

See you in four weeks

So with an overall focus on teh Cockulus and teh physics, I will be spending the rest of my high school career doing this:

this week: practice papers for physics/calculus; refresher spark notes on EOE, 100Years, Beloved, LM; golf; Multi Genre Paper
Next week: AP Physics stuff; more practice papers for SL physics; golf; History; multi genre paper
Week after: Learn mathemagic, go over couple of topics on chem; multi genre paper

PROM!
STATE (hopefully)!
GRADUATION!
PARTY!


I probably have to do some labs that were due back in january for chem to keep my A though.. le sigh.

Urgh

MUN sucks.

Posistion papers suck, Resolutions suck

Math finals suck

Math in general sucks

end of april sucks

beginning of may sucks

golf sucks.. or rather I suck at it

my writing sucks

people suck

I'm about to do the one thing everything in my life told me not to do: be confrontational.

wish me luck. (accidental rhymage)

Expecting in a couple Months

It's been a while since I've felt this unhealthy. really. I just feel ugh. I eat, I sleep, I study, golf is more of a leisure thing than a "let's keep fit" sport, I can make myself look pregnant, I feel like my muscle(what I had anyway) is atrophing, I'm just over all not feeling it. Not to mention my legs are about 7 shades lighter than my arms- which has nothign to do with feeling unhealthy.. rather feeling simply gross.

I changed a tire in a dress today.. fun stuff... funny how two girls can attract five guys in helping them change a tire- unnecessary.. but pretty entertaining. my lug wrench really sucks.... I mean really really.

I think i'm turning in my acceptances and deceptances tomorrow. Yes to Berkeley No to everywhere else. Hello San Francisco.

Paradise Now is a good movie. I wish I knew the background behind it a bit better, but just the explication in the friendship with the acting and the dialogue. V. bittersweet to me. which.. btw... my story for Creative Writing is crap... and I don't kwno what I"m doing for the Lit Magazine. pretty sweet layout though.

Can I sleep with my eyes open so I can be awake for all my dreams?

Conversations

I dont' even know what's setting me over the edge right now.

what happened in the last ten minutes?

hell if I know.

for the sake of it.

I can remember making tunnels through mounds of sand in preschool. and I think that it's mostly over. really. really.

I just watched goodnight and good luck.. I think I want the soundtrack. Maybe I should try to open that trupet case and get playing again. most likely it'll sound lke shit... but then again.. hasn't it always?

Nathan Tapp asked-on his blog, if you could have a magical twenty song cd mix.. nomatter the length of the song and that was the only thing you could listen to for the rest of your life what would the songs be? I don't know the answer to that. Ian asked the harder question... if you were followed around by a song your entire life.. what song would that be?

I feel pretty good about answering four questions out of maybe 100 ish total in Chem Bowl... my team won though.. no thanks to me or Srikar.

I took a nap today and dreamed about Dragon BallZ characters.. which is really strange considering I haven't watched that show since maybe freshman year. Then I woke up thinking I had slept 15 hours and it was morning. My mom laughed at me.

the return

so I just finished American Gods instead of doing whatever work I have to do. I like reading. I can't believe I almost forgot I like reading. I mean, of course I always said I did and I'll never deny that I love it, but on some instictual level I think I forgot what it was like to read something for leisure that wasn't a comic book/graphic novel, though those in their own right are just as rewarding. Neil Gaiman is still genius.

I'm getting used to the idea of San Fransisco (I'm probably going to Berkeley and SF is close) west won't be bad with the riceoroni and the trolleys...if the dogs bark and the bees sting... and I'm feeling sad.. i'll simply remmeber my favorite things.. and then I won't feel so bad.

In CW #1, Bournes gave us an assignment to rewrite that song.. mine was pretty decent... though my poetry skills are mad lacking.

in CW#3(the current one) we're doing shorts. which is what I tell myself I'm good at. but at the same time is one of the most painful processes I know. Really.. it is. I think all 'art' is that way. if takenseriously enough. sometimes.. they take it too seriously.

I found my wallet. it was at starbucks

I decided I'm going to try to dress nicer more often... doesn't mean no teeshirts and jeans for jessica... and it definitely doens't mean wear heels everyday. But I'm going to resist my urges to scrubb out.

At the end of all things

SO I guess its over... with the exception of princeton.. who decided they'd only post through snail mail. It's kinda of a relief. Congratulations to everyone who got into fricken amazing schools. Somehow it feels like all of our hard work has payed off.. and well.. I have to say It feels pretty awesome to have such an amazing class of IB kids.

Only thing left is to keep my B in Calc, study for some tests, rock some golf-ness, finish the lit magazine, write, find a job, and smile :O)

SOmetimes I wish I were bettter at packaging myself on paper, but everything turned out well.

guess what? WE'RE GOING TO COLLEGE