wahoo!

Have you ever wanted to do it like they do in the movies? where as soon as the last bell rings for the summer.. there are suddenly papers and books and notebooks from everywhere being thrown up and everyone is rushing down the stairs at once?
I really want to do it.. except it'll only be a select few tomorrow.
I'm excited.
I'll see y'all in two weeks.

Party party

graduation parties are fun in that.. they're parties.
Graduation parties suck because I'm not one of the graduates. I say.. I'm extremely proud of the people who did graduate.. and you throw awesome parties.
I can't get to my comments.. I dont' know if that's my computer or blogger... I hate being computer stupid

*edit* I'm proud- I fixed my comment links by myself... ::proud grin::

le prom

I think that before prom and after prom were much better than prom. and as much as I enjoy dancing like a freak... because I can't dance. I wish Del or Kevin were there because they do enjoy dancing like freaks.. or at least they did two years ago.

I've had the biggest urge to reconnect with all of the friends I've lost. Like Christine, my best friend through elementary school. I still have her number in memory, and I doubt she's moved. I want to see Diana, and Kevin, and nat, and Del, and zwick... of whom I really only talk to Diana and Del anymore.

Afterprom was.. interesting. I hit my head... hard on the ice and that's just from me bneing stupid. but it was nice haning out with alliy and meeting connor... and haninging out with him all evening/morning.. and david. I'm glad I'm not a sumo wrestler.. it'd be hummilliating to be so fat that people have to help you up.
Red Rocks was awesome...Foote has good ideas. I wish I could always wake up early enough to watch the sunrise. i think I like them better than sunsets.

Prom was good closure for me. Even though I met new people... and didn't really hang out with my typical friends (after dinner) I think it made me think about a lot of things about who I am, what I really care about and who my friends are.

I'm still excited and sad for the summer. Everyone is a rockstar. I needed that night out.

:o)

A happy post this time. I realise I haven't been in a good mood lately. but hearing from old friends always makes my day.

The year's almost over and I don't know if I'm relied or extremely depressed. its the first year where I'm going to lose a lot of my friends, whereas graduation has never really affected me before. Hopefully you guys all come back for the breaks.. becuase I don't know if after next year my parents are gonna still live down here. It may be my last year to hang out, have tea (not that I'll be able to much this year) and all that jazz. I wish it weren't that way.

but I'm in a better mood. Yearbooks make me so sad.. and happy at the same time. I mean, its like a giant birthday card .. that's not on my birthday. This yer went by way too fast.

I'm sure many of you have mini crushes on people you dont' even know that well.. or people you only talk to occasionally. I realise how many I have. just little infatuations.. or people who just make you happy- I guess its because you dont' know all the bad stuff about them. Only semi-knowing people can sometimes be better than really knowing them.

I hope this was a more positive post. I'm not a depressed teenage-angst typeof person- i'm sure most of you guys know that. I just like to complain :o)

I bought my prom ticket today.. I guess that makes it official.. I wish my sisters were home so that I could have someone who knows what they're doing do my hair and make up.. I.. rather suck at it.

Today's been a good day. Off to memorize my crazy woman monologue.

oh. and my mom bought me an icecream maker.

yes.

I'm so fickle.. now its a maybe prom? i need to get lauren to come.

Ugh

All I have to say is that I'm not a fan of people being assed.

I've decided I'm not going to prom... after much deliberation. I'm getting sick of a lot of people. Tonight reiterated that.

The list of people I'm not even remotely uncomfortable or annoyed with is down to three(excluding people I see less than once a month). Right now I'm really looking forward to getting away this summer.

sorry if I sound harsh- too bad.

Sick of it all.

I've decided I'm sick of being that person that just lies down and lets people walk over what I believe in. I'm sick of people taking what I believe in and making it into something that its not. I'm sick of being used and forgotten, I'm sick of not being myself. I'm sick of trying to impress people. I'm sick of other people trying to impress people. No matter how dysfunctional we are.. we should be ourselves- as hard as it is to do, stay out of the limelight, and screw what other's are going to think of you- screw attention.

I'm not impressed with my new pastor. he leaves me more jaded about christianity that I ever have been. Sometimes I don't want to be christian anymore- no one said it was easy. and then I realise... its not about him (the pastor), or what he says. it's about loving others, loving jesus above all else and loving yoruself. Its hard. especially when you don't have a support system that believes what you do... and the one person you trust to have the same views as you.. is going off to college. Here's to hoping I can stick to my guns.



Some cowboys were a ridin', ridin' on the range;
The grass was over grazed there,
and spotted like some mange;
The buffalo were dead there,
the trees they all were through,
and if they saw some Injuns,
why they would kill them too.

West or bust, in God we trust,
"Let's rape, let's kill, let's steal"
We can almost justify, anything we feel;
I'm climbing up that ladder,
more brownie points for me I'll work my way to Jesus you wait and see.

Said one cowboy to another,
"I think it would be nice,
if we could take these injuns and convert them all to Christ;
See, they are all disgusting, and bringing me great pain,
and if they don't believe me,
we'll put a bullet in their brains!"
I am always shoutin',
when I go outside,
how people should repent now,
or they're going to die.
My motives are all selfish,
I'm a cannon brimmed with powder.
If people don't believe me,
I just beat them and yell louder.

I don't want to be here anymore.

Finishing out

One test down.. 7 to go.
I was excited about being done after this week and a half (ish.. not counting ib tests) becuase after regionals (a week from today).. I'll most likely be done with golf, I'll be done with AP tests, I'll only have IB left, and We won't be learning anything new.
My parents are probably gonna make me go to more class than I anticipated.
I should be studying..
but I'll probably end up not..
I've decided I'm in love with Roger from Rent despite his disfunctionality.

I need to learn to write better blog entries.