Homemaker deluxe

I wish I had the time to take the knitting class at marshalls.. or the sewing class at Hancock... how kick ass would it be if I made my own prom dress or all of my clothes for that matter...

Today was the day I realised
man It would be great to be Martha Steward... without the legal problems.

in full swing

Today, was my first day of golf practice. There's something nice about having shannon there, and when Malorie comes tomorrow, it'll be cool because I get to see her every day now. It was so much fun just being wierd and loud (even when we're not supposed to be) with kyle, Alison and Amanda again. When Selina and Christina get around to showing up, it's going to be great. Flatirons is the fifth... all the more reason for my parents to not let me go to Streetlight.. le sigh. Hopefully I can be consistently on Varsity this year though. Its nice to play and not worry about keeping the V1 spot and all that. I think I enjoy not being the best... at least in this one thing.
I was champion of the world 2/2 for our chipping/pitching games. If my short game ends up like how i hit today... I'll be ecstatic...
long game needs work.
Today was a good day. I'm looking forward to may.

golf is like a breath of fresh air from school; the time goes so fast, but at the same time everything seems to be slowing down, and your legs aren't running in a blur... it feels... relaxed.

I got in to summer school at Harvard... I think I'm both happy that I did, and somewhat dissapointed. If I hadn't gotten in, I could have stayed here and hung out with all you cool people. I suppose I still could... but I'm less likely to...

yes...

procrastination is a killer. a killer I tell you.

change

Ever since D.C. I've been wondering. How much do you change everyday? I'm looking back ont he trip, and realising how different the freshman were from the seniors.. and yet, how much the same we were. What time of day is it when we become mature? when do we get jaded? when do we fall apart? Why is it that three years doesn't seem like a big deal, but the gap between eighth graders and juniors is a big deal?
Time is a very enfuriating thing to contemplate.

my favorite words of the moment:
Anguish,
Wretched,
Wheezy
Blazed

ai\lfodabjkl

Sweet fucking Monkey Tuesdays. Aren't I more capable than most to manage my time? WOuldn't I know my own schedule best and know what the hell is 'most important to my future'? You know what I don't give a damn. Nothing that is on that friday or thursday is important enough that it'll screw up my life. I HATE the Youngest Child syndrome that my parents get.

Looks like there's one less person going to Ska is Dead.

I hadn't been excited to go to a concert since well... November 2003. And that fell through too- I'm not bitter...

Junk

I'm in a relatively good mood right now, despite circumstances. I can't say why

There's something about art, whether it be painting, drawing, writing, music-ing or sculpting, that is very relaxing. If you remember back to the movie Harriet the Spy, which was one of Nickelodeon's first movies, there was the lady with the awesome yard, bottles of sparkling cider hainging from a tree, mobiles of hubcaps and garlands of ties. When I become old and batty, my house is going to look like that; i'll have a back yard with a big tree, a tree house, a garden and a bunch of junk art, maybe just when I get my own house- reminds me of Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle. I wish my room was bigger for the sole purpose of being able to hang more things from my ceiling. I love my room, there's something distinctly relaxing about it, despite the state of chaos it's always in. I really wish I had more time to write, and make things out of garbage; I think If I did, I'd be a lot more optimistic than I am now.
Man, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, I think its time to go back and read those- they were crazy experiments.

On another note, Golf Season starts soon... Here's to not sucking this year.

"Lets forget this all, move on"

Its funny how death puts life into perspective. We can't be sure how long our lives are going to be. I know a lot of people saying things like 'why would Iwant to live past 60? those are the boring years' but God, life is precious. we really have no idea how many would be devastated if we passed on. its not like it's just us that our lives matter to.
How many of my friends have put up messages expressing comfort and presence for Michelle? even if I wasn't that close to Michelle, and I didn't know her mom that well... it still pains me that two kids in their teens have lost their mother. I dont' know how I'd go on if I lost my mom or my dad.
Death is a horrible thing, more so for the people left behind than for the dead. Suicide is even worse, why would you think of such a thing? especially when you have no reason to. Appreciate what you have, even if it doesn't seem as good as it is; there are always those who are worse off than you.

The End is Here makes me want to cry... I've been wanting to cry a lot recently.

I think I'm at one of those points, where I'm reevaluating myself. Who my true friends are, how much I've been brainwashed, who I should rely on.. that sort of thing.
I recently made a pretty good mix, but this is the ultimate mix for now- i think the songs sufficiently explain how I feel now... both in lyrics, and in mood...

1. The Big Sleep
2. Konstantine
3. What Went Wrong
4. Bohemian Rhapsody
5. I'll Make a Man out Of You
6. Swords Crossed
   
7. My Sundown
8. Bubble Toes
9. Holes to Heaven
10. Every New Day
11. Dandelions
12. Take On Me
13. Hey Jude
14. Lucy in the Sky
15. Magic Man
16. Boys Don't Cry
17. The Hero Dies in This One
18. Holy is the Lord
19. Power of Love
20. I Dont' Wanna Miss A Thing
21. Piano Man
22. Come Away With Me
23. Curbside Prophet
24. 83
25. Not Myself
26. Three Simple Words
27. Come on Eileen
28. He's A Pirate
29. How Could I fall In Love With You
30. Here Comes Your Man
31. American Kryptonite
32. The End WIth You
33. Two Coins
34. Hey Girl
35. Coalminer
36. Its Oh So Quiet
37. Sheet with Stars
38. Let it Be

Time to get into the spiritual washing machine and clean my garbage out. I suck at knowing God these days. I blame myself.

"I can't don't exist"

It was a good trip. Except for one night.
I'm internet dumb and so can't upload pictures onto the computer.. if you want mine, ask me for a cd of them.
Time for el Euro Project.

self preservation.

Plunging on

Man, I'm looking forward to tomorrow, and the next weekend. It's going to be great... or possible quite horrible. I hope I can deal with six days of the people I'm rooming with, and if not, I'm not going to be spending much time there.
Things I've noticed about myself lately:
My vocab has changed. alot. I realise I started to describe things like Ian does, use 'oh' like Anthony does (but not quite as good) and in general, I'm influenced by all these people I'm hanging out with. It's going to stop. I'm not going to fall victim to your mannerisms.. at least.. I hope I won't anymore. Maybe you're defined by little pieces of your environment, I like to think some of it is inate. I'm going to be myself. nobody's opinion will matter-except my own. I feel like I've been needy lately. that's going to stop too.

I like myself- but I need some tuning up. Into the shop I go.