Sick of it all.

I've decided I'm sick of being that person that just lies down and lets people walk over what I believe in. I'm sick of people taking what I believe in and making it into something that its not. I'm sick of being used and forgotten, I'm sick of not being myself. I'm sick of trying to impress people. I'm sick of other people trying to impress people. No matter how dysfunctional we are.. we should be ourselves- as hard as it is to do, stay out of the limelight, and screw what other's are going to think of you- screw attention.

I'm not impressed with my new pastor. he leaves me more jaded about christianity that I ever have been. Sometimes I don't want to be christian anymore- no one said it was easy. and then I realise... its not about him (the pastor), or what he says. it's about loving others, loving jesus above all else and loving yoruself. Its hard. especially when you don't have a support system that believes what you do... and the one person you trust to have the same views as you.. is going off to college. Here's to hoping I can stick to my guns.



Some cowboys were a ridin', ridin' on the range;
The grass was over grazed there,
and spotted like some mange;
The buffalo were dead there,
the trees they all were through,
and if they saw some Injuns,
why they would kill them too.

West or bust, in God we trust,
"Let's rape, let's kill, let's steal"
We can almost justify, anything we feel;
I'm climbing up that ladder,
more brownie points for me I'll work my way to Jesus you wait and see.

Said one cowboy to another,
"I think it would be nice,
if we could take these injuns and convert them all to Christ;
See, they are all disgusting, and bringing me great pain,
and if they don't believe me,
we'll put a bullet in their brains!"
I am always shoutin',
when I go outside,
how people should repent now,
or they're going to die.
My motives are all selfish,
I'm a cannon brimmed with powder.
If people don't believe me,
I just beat them and yell louder.